Feelings of Guilt

Things have been quiet around here lately because things are anything but quiet at work. The fall student-athletes reported for preseason almost two weeks ago, classes started Monday the 26th and we have seven home games spanning this Friday and Saturday, all of which I have to work. And that doesn’t include all the road contests I have to write about.

Repeat that process until May.

So, it’s about this time of year I start to feel guilty because I see a lot less of this face:

"Are you abandoning me?"

“Are you abandoning me?”

And we have a lot less time to play:

One of Lucy's three beloved Kongs

One of Lucy’s three beloved Kongs

I will not deny that I am a crazy dog lady. I do not have children and the way my life is going, I’m not going to have children any time soon, if ever. That’s certainly not why I got Lucy – to fill that hole – but because I don’t have children, Lucy means a lot to me.

Professionally speaking, these haven’t been an easy past couple of years and when you combine that with the hours I work, it makes it very difficult to spend so many hours away from Lucy; “guilt” would be an understatement.

I also struggle with sometimes feeling selfish for even getting Lucy in the first place. I got her when I had this job and worked the same hours I do now so this isn’t a new development. I guess combined with some overall unhappiness with life in general, the feelings of guilt and selfishness seem magnified this year.

I don’t know exactly where this post is going except to say yes, I am a crazy dog lady; yes, Lucy is just fine on her own but yes, I do feel both guilty and selfish.

Hopefully she forgives me and just to help that process along, Lucy will be getting extra treats, extra toys and more than extra attention!

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